This is one of those silly email letters that people make up and send around to try to stir up people's feelings:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
OUTSTANDING.
Dear American conservatives, right-wingers, social reactionaries, fascists, Patriots and Cheney supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of the past eight years has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
You don't like re distributive taxes so you will live in a tax free country. You are welcome to justice Clarence Thomas and the Christian Coalition.
Since you love guns and war a little too much, we'll take all firearms. The police and the military would be unpaid in your country since you hate taxes, so we will keep them well fed and armed with the equipment they need to keep us safe. We will not send them into war with insufficient and inadequate equipment. You can keep Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney and Bill O'Reilly (You are, however, responsible for finding a vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, ethical corporations, Costco, clean up Wall Street and negotiate with pharmaceutical companies. You can have your beloved bible belt, good old boys, hunters and amnesty for illegal aliens.
We'll keep the hot California soccer moms, ethical CEO's and all college graduates. We'll keep the Libray of Congress and give you free Bibles to comfort yourselves.
You can make nice with Cheney and Hamas and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer the places that threaten our safety. And we won't attack countries that we abitrarily decide on then torture people in an effort to force them to create lies that justify our bad decisions. That was your specialty.
You can have the corruption and hate mongers. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our democratic values, giving respect and tolerance to people of all religions and all races. You are welcome to Fundametalism, Scientology, and George Bush. You can also have the lunatic right fringe and Terry Nichols.
We'll keep the hybrid vehicles. You can take every gas guzzler you can find, but no oil to run them on.
We will keep the luxury of health care and you can keep the Christian Scientists.
We'll keep all music as the arts are too liberal for you.
We'll practice sound economics and ethical business practices. You can have AIG Financial Products.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
Susan A. Tall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Randy Weaver from Ruby Ridge & polygamist leader Warren Jeffs with you.
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Possibly some liberties have been taken with the original email...
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